Willy Wonka is a Pedophile

Much has been written about how the 1971 children’s classic Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory incorporates the rampant psychedelic drug use of the period with several references throughout the film. For example, the licking of the wallpaper when the kids arrive at the chocolate factory, an obvious link to LSD while the scary boat ride and the countless scenes of bright colors suggest the kids are experiencing an awesome “trip” of the kind that Timothy Leary would recommend. But what hasn’t been mentioned, at least nowhere that I could find, are the obvious sexual references scattered in the production. So, next time you see Willy Wonka airing on 1:30 p.m., on a Sunday, on ABC Family, keep these things in mind and I think you’ll agree with me that Willy Wonka is a pedophile, among other things.

People think this movie is about chocolate. They think its about Willy Wonka's quest to find a successor to his chocolate factory. I'll tell you what this movie is really about, Willy Wonka wants a little boy to play with. That's the whole point of the golden ticket, its not about running the factory, its about Wonka getting his jollys off with some lucky little boy. Wonka tried using Oompa Loompas to satisfy himself, but that quickly ran stale. They're not little boys, they're not innocent, they can't be controlled. But little boys can. If you don't believe me, read on and free your mind and you'll realize what a sick fucker Willy Wonka really is.

There is a bit of a creepy relationship between Willy Wonka and all 3 boys in the film. If you notice, there are 3 separate moments when Willy softly caresses the hair of Augustus, Mike TV, and Charlie. Its not coincidence that all 3 boys lack a present father, as Augustus and Mike are escorted by their moms, while Charlie is there with Grandpa Joe. Willy appears to be grooming these children, as we later find out at the end when it’s discovered that the contest was all about picking Willy’s successor at the factory. But I think Willy Wonka’s true motivation is finding a child to “play” with.

Check out some of these quotes by Willy Wonka. Put them in the proper context, (MY PEDOPHILE THEORY OF COURSE) and I think you’ll start to see it . . .

- "So who can I trust to run the factory when I leave and take care of the Oompa Loopa's for me? Not a grown up. A grown up would want to do everything his own way, not mine. So that's why I decided a long time ago that I had to find a child. A very honest, loving child, to whom I could tell all my most precious candy making secrets." Again with the grooming. Charlie has no father, by the way, where the fuck did Charlie’s father go? It’s never brought up. It appears Willy wants to fill that role, in more ways than one.

- "Well, fortunately small boys are extremely springy and elastic. So I think we’ll put him in my special taffy-pulling machine." O, will we Willy? Taffy-pulling? Riiight.

- "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." I think we’ve stumbled upon Willy’s methods with small children.

- "Little surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous." Don’t worry, Uncle Willy will protect you.

Although there are other sexual references in the film, including the grandparents all sleeping in the same bed, a reference to the swinging sixties and seventies, the most obvious and egregious is the Everlasting Gobstopper Machine. As they enter the room with all the different machines and experiments Wonka is running, we see a large machine. Wonka starts the machine and in the middle of the machine, one can easily see a towering, long, pink, ribbed, thrusting, cock. That’s the best way to describe it. While the machine is running the thrusting cock goes up and down, an obvious penis reference that is not even trying to be concealed. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar? Well sometimes it’s a towering pink thrusting cock. And what comes out of the thrusting cock machine you ask? Well of course, they’re everlasting gobstoppers. You can suck ‘em forever and they never get any smaller. Sounds like something else I know.

So next time you watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory I think you'll agree what Willy is really up to. Its not about candy, its all about the children.